Another Year

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"

I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind."Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!It could happen to anyone!"I turned and headed back to the truck..I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now?I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
Emo had no clue.

I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40.. Yes, Iwas racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky. The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

-*-*-*-*-*-*- READ BELOW !*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today.
The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
The CD was introduced two years before they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable..
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been microwaved.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.
Did you notice the larger type?
That's for those of us who have trouble reading.
P.S. Save the earth.. It's the only planet with chocolate. Happy New Year and many more

Reflection on the past year

Can't say that 2009 was as event filled in the lives of the Scotts as years past, but when I look at what God did for us, I'm amazed. He is such a great God. We have a very beautiful & functional kitchen. Our white van was in need of major repairs that were too costly to fix, so we were able to purchase a newer, used Town & Country without taking on more debt. For the first time in several years, we were able to go on a vacation to Arkansas & Missouri to see my youngest niece graduate from high school. My kids have been healthy. Was able to take care of a health issue that I've been dealing with for the past several years through surgery.

My business is steadily improving with new clients. I purchased a massage chair with plans to enter into agreements with businesses for employee services. Ron has registered for school to get his doctorate in organizational management which will take approximately 4 years or more to complete - he's always wanted to do this. Everything just fell into place for him to go at this time.

Katrina is in Second grade, in Girl Scouts & is taking guitar lessons. Her guitar instructor has been inducted into the Iowa rock and roll hall of fame and he is very impressed with her. If you want to know anything about the people in the neighborhood, just ask Katrina & she'll be able to tell you.

Logan started Kindergarten this year and the teacher nominated him to be a class student council representative. She is very impressed with him - he's always wanting to please and he is very respectful of his classmates!!

My prayer is that we draw closer to each other as a family and most importantly, drawer closer to our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.

Happy New Year everyone!!

Wonderful time was had by all!!

We had a wonderful time with my sister, her family, my mom & dad and my youngest brother, his wife & boys!! The kids got along so well - we were all proud of them!! We miss being around them all the time - the laughter will ring forever in my heart & mind!! Wish my oldest brother and his wife could have made it - that would have been the icing on the cake!! However, I know he has a lot of demands on him.

Anyway, to start the Christmas season off here's a song I want to share with everyone!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO_Wc8xiui0

Love to all!!
The Scotts
Ron, Sandy, Katrina & Logan

A letter most women have thought about writing!!

I just had to share this!! This is the most hilarious email I've ever received and thought all the women in my life would find it humorous!! Enjoy!!

This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2007 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you freak 'in kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always…

Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX

Another muscian in the family!!

It's been awhile since we've blogged!! Will try to do better!!

We took Katrina to her first guitar lesson last night. She was very excited and her teacher said she was real attentive. Her teacher has a rock band & has been inducted into the Iowa music hall of fame!! Very impressive. She received a guitar from Santa Claus at Christmas this past year. We didn't know if it would be good enough for lessons or not, but the teacher said it was a pretty good one to start on. So of course she got a case that can also be carried like a backpack and some purple picks!! If she continues being interested in this, we'll get her a pink guitar. She seems to be a natural at it. I would also love to find a children's choir for her to join - she has a very pretty voice. She's real good with pitch.

Logan desires to play the violin & possibly drums. A lady at our church gave us a 1/2 size violin with case & bow. She was going to just let us borrow it, but felt the Lord say to just give it to us. That was a real blessing!! Ron found a Suzuki method teaching book - which is a little different than how he learned, but will try to figure it out. Now to make sure Ron makes consistent time for him to learn - Logan's attention span is very short - go figure - he's only 5.

Here's a little funny that happened the other day. One of Ron's co-workers received a call - it was someone asking for "Juan". The co-worker said that he didn't work there & the voice said "yes he does" - the call ended. A few minutes later the same person called back asking for "Juan" - and again the guy said "you must have the wrong number". The person hung up. Finally Ron receives a call & it was Logan. He had been the one calling for Ron but his "R's" sound like "W's". The guys in Ron's office got the biggest kick out of that.

Anyway, it's getting late & I need some sleep. Have a blessed day!!

YouTube - Diamond Rio BANNED In God We Still Trust

YouTube - Diamond Rio BANNED In God We Still Trust

Chapstick's New Use

We had this great 10-year-old cat named Jack who just recently died.

Jack was a great cat, and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom.

We have three kids, and at the time of this story, they were 4 years old, 3 years old, and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved Chapstick. LOVED it. He kept asking to use my Chapstick and then would lose it. Finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my Chapstick and explained he could use it whenever he wanted to, but he needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished.

That year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for church with everyone crying and carrying on My two boys were fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I was trying to nurse my little one at the same time I was putting on my make-up. Everything was a mess, and everyone had long forgotten that this was a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally had the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I was looking for Eli. I searched everywhere and I finally went into the bathroom. There was Eli. He was applying my Chapstick very carefully to Jack's ... rear end.

Eli looked right into my eyes and said, "Chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right -- their little bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. The only question to ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth!?!

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your Chapstick on the cat's butt.